hey lonely girl

At school we're doing a 12 hour walk to raise money for cancer. Of course, I'm doing it. We get to write messages and light a candle by each for a person that we knew that had cancer. I'll write mine for my two grandparents from my mom's side, they both died of lung cancer within three months of eachother. That was when I was six, they were the last of my grandparents to die. My grandpa from my dad's side died when I was three, and my grandma died young. I miss them, even though I barely knew them, and I barely remember them. I realized that I don't even remember crying about it once. I didn't understand.

Everytime I think about them, it reminds me of what a "friend" said to me. He grandfather had just died, she kept going on and on about it for weeks on end. I can understand that she was sad and stuff, but it got to the point where she was just trying to get attention. Finally someone else in our group of friends said something. I agreed with them. Then she turned to me and said "It's not the same, you're use to it" and the truth is that I'm still not, and that was over 5 years ago. Everytime people talk about their grandparents, I wonder about a part of who I am that I never truely got a chance to know.

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